My strategy is to have been married to the person for at least a decade so expectations are set.
- “They’re rambling about trains again; good thing I brought my knitting.”
- “Oh, they brought their knitting, I may as well keep rambling about trains because they are not paying attention.”
- good food
- walk
- bed
Sex first, then dinner.
Nobody wants to have sex after they are stuffed with their favourite food!
Why not? You must be young. As an elder I can tell you from experience that one can have sex more than once; before, during and after dinner if needed.
ahem.
This should be top comment.
Hello.
Floss your teeth and brush throughly before date, relax, the point is to enjoy yourself
glow in the dark condom
Do something or go somewhere neither of you has been or done before.
If it’s enjoyable for both of you, you win. If it’s not fun, you get to bond with each other over not liking it.
People naturally bond when experiencing something together for the first time and feel the same way about it. If you feel the opposite about the experience, then you know you are less likely to be compatible.
The most important part is to be honest about how you feel about the experience, and be honest immediately if you don’t like it. “This is terrible, right?”
My marriage is the result of several weeks exploring the town. Other dates were not honest about not liking something, and the relationship didn’t last. Wife to be felt the same way about places we tried as I did. If it was a terrible experience and we both thought so, it would bring us closer together just as much as a positive one. In fact, the terrible experiences were sometimes the best because we would laugh together about how bad it was. It’s like taking a compatibility test.
Something new is good advice.
It’s temping to do something familiar to minimise the “risk” of a bad experience, but that’s false safety.
It’s human nature to get defensive of what we already know we like, and it puts the other person in a difficult position too where they may feel forced to pretend, or to keep their genuine opinion quiet.
Something new puts you both on an even footing, leaving neither disadvantaged, and that’s cool. And - as you say - even if it’s terrible, at least you can both laugh about it.
Set up a pizza delivery the day before to ensure it shows up at the exact time I want it. Figure out a good movie ahead of time. Order a fresh bottle of lotion off amazon. Do some stretches with my wrists the day of. Light some candles. You know, the basics.
Be kind, communicate a lot.
Sounds dumb but if it’s meant to be that’s all it should take. People make dating these days so complex.
I don’t go on dates or come up with strategies. I say “Hi” and then they say things back and I respond to that. I place food into my face hole if it’s expected of me. I continue this process until “dates” are no longer needed - one way or the other.
I try to have 3 places in mind for a change of scenery, and if there’s something going on at at least one spot, that can take the pressure off of talking. i try to sit next to the person, like at a bar top, instead of across because that just feels like a job interview or something.
aside from that, engaging conversation. Probe for interest and if they reciprocate, then you can go a bit further until they don’t or you’re making out.
funny thing though, I started planning some of my outings with friends like I was doing a date. Instead of just going to the bar and “yyyyup”-ing for a couple hours, I try to find a shoe or something going on and then change locations to something else interesting. By the end my buds are commenting about how much fun they had.
so plan the date around interesting things or environments, or just something going on or something to look at. Then just have fun and relax.
Also, I read something from one of the old dating sites where they said that a sushi date is 27% more likely to get a second date. All of my sushi dates have gotten second dates.
fear of secondary locations intensifies
Jokes aside, I like this tip. Creates some variety for the evening, and potentially if someone isn’t feeling it from the outset and doesn’t want to continue, it gives an opportunity for them to bounce while you can still check out something fun (if you want) that makes the evening a still-pretty-good time.
Saved, I’m gonna need ideas like this eventually and it’s a good one.
Fast all day. Order take out. Shower before the gluttony to avoid mirror shame. Consume take-out. Collapse into the blanket pile for nap time. Wake up in time for raid at 9 Pm.
