This is actually a privacy problem.

Only so far as using any kind of product you haven’t built yourself from scratch is a privacy problem. I.e. it’s Apple imposing vendor lock-in.

This has more to do with content moderation than prudishness.

You’ve defeated this yourself pointing that no one goes after Dell. Again, this has to do with Apple imposing vendor lock-in.

I am also aware the bios battery does nothing once it’s booted

The CMOS battery does nothing from the moment computer is turned on. If you’re saying booting takes longer, that’s not battery’s fault.

So I assumed the cmos battery is dying, but not dead enough to lose settings yet.

That’s not how CMOS battery work. It’s even good enough or you’re loosing the clock.

I just use Arch

You have only yourself to blame then. You’ve chosen a distribution which expects users to learn how the system works and it’s on you to figure out how to suspend the system.

I think the laptop bios battery is dying

This is unlikely. If the battery was dying, you’d be loosing BIOS/UEFI settings including time. Once the computer starts up, the battery is unused.

If you’re targeting this at Windows users who just heard about GNU/Linux and consider switching, this is a terrible guide.

Edge → LibreWolf, Ungoogled-chromium/Trivalent.

No. When someone wants to switch to GNU/Linux, don’t also shove your other opinions onto them. There’s nothing wrong with Firefox or Chromium, which often come preinstalled.

Picking a distribution. There are a lot to pick from.

This whole section is way too long. Here’s what it should say:

Use Linux Mint Cinnamon Edition.

If you want to say more:

Use Linux Mint Cinnamon Edition. Or if your entire focus is gaming, use Bazzite.

No new user gives a fuck what Linux distribution is. They don’t care what atomic distribution is. And talking to them about Arch can only lead to disaster.

SteamOS, also Arch-based, is typically not recommended for Desktop systems, I think.

No. Do not recommend unsupported distribution which doesn’t work with the most popular GPU brand to any new users.

Picking a Desktop Environment

This section unnecessary since the previous section should already direct the new user to either Mint or Bazzite.

Avoid Balena Etcher. I’ve seen people have issues with it.

And you think Rufus with magnitude of options and Ventoy will leave users with fewer problems?

If you’re using auto-partitioning,

There should be no ‘if’. A new user should not do manual partitioning. If they are interested in doing it, they’re already way too advanced to read your tutorial.

→ For those who ditched Windows completely, make sure to back up your data and convert your external drives’ Filesystem to ext4 too for Linux-only use.

Uh? Why? Let them use NTFS if the drive is in NTFS.