doctortofu

Can you bend the knee so hard it breaks? Because that’s what all those companies are doing…

Are you using a time machibe to access Amazon in the past? Because for me the experience looks more like this:

1. I type in “amazon.com” in my browser
2. I use the search bar and get a bunch of sponsored results that are not what I was searching for at all and all use the same garbage photoshopped photos
3. I scroll through pages upon pages of irrelevant dropshipped garbage offered by companies like JHUVOY, BRILGOVA and other random letters.
4. I finally find something that looks like it’s not a cheap knockoff
5. I add it to my shopping cart and click through offers for Amazon prime and offers for dropshipped garbage that I might want to add to my cart.
6. I proceed to payment

Sigh, I really miss the old internet, I truly do…

Because there are so few Palestinians left alive that they can be surveyed using binoculars, pen and paper now? Sure, it’s great they stopped, but they sure took they sweet time…

Looking forward to how Disney rephrases “because at the time we thought gargling a shriveled orange ballsack would be the most profitable option for us” into a nice lengthy shareholder notice…

Replace the stars on the flag with his face too while you’re at it! Hell, change the name of the country to Charliekirkistan too, why the hell not?!

Fucking hell, this really is the dumbest timeline…

I have a game, where every time I hear or read “the economy” in the news, I replace it with “rich fucks’ money” in my head - works really well, and in many cases is actually closer to reality than the original news…