Could someone tell Microsoft I switched to Linux ten years ago? They don’t have to encourage me anymore.

The only complex part of the hardware is the HP cartridge controller, and you have at least part of the work here: https://hackaday.io/project/176931-hp-printer-cartridge-control-module/details

Above, or under the grass?

Was “Yakety sax” playing in the background when they said that?

Brother HL 2030, and the scanner is a Mustek 1248UB, both chosen for their Linux compatibility at the time. And most likely both discontinued.